I learned that you can always doubt what a friend says, but you can never doubt what a friend does. Actions speak louder than words, and sometimes, those actions stand stronger than a friendship can ever withhold.
Here's 7 ways I've ended friendships that had endured for years.
- Theft. Seriously, what kind of friend would? How about a friend who would ask to borrow things and never give them back? I didn't mind at first, because of my larger-than-life patience, but after "borrowing" something very valuable from me, and flat out refusing to give it back by using excuses, I took action. How I solved it? I "borrowed" something very valuable from him, I just didn't happen to ask. Uh, oops? I did offer to do a little trade, but he refused... and I ended it right there, because the situation became obnoxious. He came back crawling months later, rambling how he missed the old times, I simply looked at him, and asked for my things back, but he gave another excuse. I told him he could crawl back wherever the hell he came from. He gasped, I shrugged, and I haven't seen him since. In the end, I ended up stealing his friends, because he can be a little snatcher, but two can play the same game.
- Ego. I have a friend I love so much, except for one small little detail. His ego needs a zip code. My God, he can never stop talking about how pretty he is and how amazing his life has been, but I don't blame him. When you don't have barely anything to brag about, you easily "bedazzle" the little that you do. He does it with a passion, and I could deal with it, for a couple of months. Then it was simply unbearable. I think we get along better when we are quite apart. It's the kind of long distance relationship that I really believe do works... Hey! How can I miss you if you are not gone? Right?
- Lies. A close friend who I liked a lot, we did everything together, so I wanted to hang out with her outside of school. After half a year of asking her once in a while, I realized she just kept making up excuses, always a different one. She was hiding something. So I got tired; now she can hide her "something" along with our past. If she asked me now to hangout? Uh, my bad, I have a whole lot of not-being-with-you to do today, Sorry!
- Grudge. Can there be anything worse than going through a rough patch in a friendship, apologizing even if it's not your fault, and trying to move on? Yes! I'm glad you asked! How about when he tells all his friends his version of events, all agree, and all stink-eyed me when we hang out, and also when he meets people all drunk and starts telling them the story, and I end up looking like a jerk. Beautiful. You know what? If I am willing to get over things, but you aren't, how about I get over you?
- Clingers. If we are starting to get along, but we're not that close, please don't come telling me you need to see me all the time, that you miss me so much you won't go out without me, texting me every chance you get that we need to plan something out. Get the hint. Please. No. We're through. If it's like this, I don't want to find out how it will be when we become best friends. Can you go and cling on to an electric fence?
- Money. I started to live with someone who became a best friend, but wouldn't pay the bills on time, and got angry when I asked for the money, since I made the payments. It got to the point where she reproached me every little thing she did for me. Really? I though I was the one being invited. Apparently not... Maybe if she charged for all her whoring around she wouldn't have any money problems. Anyhow, I ended up paying hundreds of dollars for her irresponsibility. How about I get a refund for all the time I spent with you?
- Complaints. Countless times. I start to get to know someone and all they do is tell you the tragedy of their life, how bad everything is, how everything sucks, how they need some cash from you every now and then, because things are rough, you know? Ugh. Complete burnout with me. I'm surprised I lasted so many months and even years with some of them. I wanted to be your friend, not your therapist and ATM.
In the end I got something good out all of them. I really did. Now, I can see red flags on people before they appear, I can distance myself enough when I feel is not right, and I can value better the friendships I still do have, even reconnecting with the ones I lost, because I learned now that some are definitely worth it.