When is enough, enough? 7 Things that Ruin Friendships


I learned that you can always doubt what a friend says, but you can never doubt what a friend does. Actions speak louder than words, and sometimes, those actions stand stronger than a friendship can ever withhold.

Here's 7 ways I've ended friendships that had endured for years.
  1. Theft. Seriously, what kind of friend would? How about a friend who would ask to borrow things and never give them back? I didn't mind at first, because of my larger-than-life patience, but after "borrowing" something very valuable from me, and flat out refusing to give it back by using excuses, I took action. How I solved it? I "borrowed" something very valuable from him, I just didn't happen to ask. Uh, oops? I did offer to do a little trade, but he refused... and I ended it right there, because the situation became obnoxious. He came back crawling months later, rambling how he missed the old times, I simply looked at him, and asked for my things back, but he gave another excuse. I told him he could crawl back wherever the hell he came from. He gasped, I shrugged, and I haven't seen him since. In the end, I ended up stealing his friends, because he can be a little snatcher, but two can play the same game.
  2. Ego. I have a friend I love so much, except for one small little detail. His ego needs a zip code. My God, he can never stop talking about how pretty he is and how amazing his life has been, but I don't blame him. When you don't have barely anything to brag about, you easily "bedazzle" the little that you do. He does it with a passion, and I could deal with it, for a couple of months. Then it was simply unbearable. I think we get along better when we are quite apart. It's the kind of long distance relationship that I really believe do works... Hey! How can I miss you if you are not gone? Right?
  3. Lies. A close friend who I liked a lot, we did everything together, so I wanted to hang out with her outside of school. After half a year of asking her once in a while, I realized she just kept making up excuses, always a different one. She was hiding something. So I got tired; now she can hide her "something" along with our past. If she asked me now to hangout? Uh, my bad, I have a whole lot of not-being-with-you to do today, Sorry!
  4. Grudge. Can there be anything worse than going through a rough patch in a friendship, apologizing even if it's not your fault, and trying to move on? Yes! I'm glad you asked! How about when he tells all his friends his version of events, all agree, and all stink-eyed me when we hang out, and also when he meets people all drunk and starts telling them the story, and I end up looking like a jerk. Beautiful. You know what? If I am willing to get over things, but you aren't, how about I get over you?
  5. Clingers. If we are starting to get along, but we're not that close, please don't come telling me you need to see me all the time, that you miss me so much you won't go out without me, texting me every chance you get that we need to plan something out. Get the hint. Please. No. We're through. If it's like this, I don't want to find out how it will be when we become best friends. Can you go and cling on to an electric fence?
  6. Money. I started to live with someone who became a best friend, but wouldn't pay the bills on time, and got angry when I asked for the money, since I made the payments. It got to the point where she reproached me every little thing she did for me. Really? I though I was the one being invited. Apparently not... Maybe if she charged for all her whoring around she wouldn't have any money problems. Anyhow, I ended up paying hundreds of dollars for her irresponsibility. How about I get a refund for all the time I spent with you? 
  7. Complaints. Countless times. I start to get to know someone and all they do is tell you the tragedy of their life, how bad everything is, how everything sucks, how they need some cash from you every now and then, because things are rough, you know? Ugh. Complete burnout with me. I'm surprised I lasted so many months and even years with some of them. I wanted to be your friend, not your therapist and ATM.

In the end I got something good out all of them. I really did. Now, I can see red flags on people before they appear, I can distance myself enough when I feel is not right, and I can value better the friendships I still do have, even reconnecting with the ones I lost, because I learned now that some are definitely worth it.

Maybe they'd all been dysfunctional friendships from the get go. Who knows? But these things were enough to take good friendships down. They did hurt, but in the end I think I made the right choice. People who bring you down, and undervalue you, should not be part of your life.

Sometimes I thought, that some friendships can cope through that, but why mine didn't? Then I realized that I am strong enough to overlook some things, but not stupid enough to deal with them constantly. Real friendships have no room for ill-willed actions, should never harbor ego, and should never ask for change in exchange of acceptance.

Real friendships are built on trust, and that means it can take years to build, and seconds to destroy. They're also built with love, love for one another, the feeling that you want someone to do better, and bring out the best in them. If your best friends can't bring that out of you, don't ever (and I mean NEVER)  give them that title. 

El Estanque

Las piedras miraban la orilla con ansias de ver un reflejo diferente. No tomaron en cuenta que en un estanque, es el peor lugar donde mirar hacia adelante.

Efectos Secundarios

Este es el monólogo del final de la película "Efectos Secundarios".

"La verdad es que no importa si te has muerto una o dos veces, o ninguna, siempre estás empezando de nuevo. En el fondo, no hay nada que hacer, siempre tendrás dieciocho, porque eres joven solo una vez, pero inmaduro para siempre. No hay instrucciones para cumplir treinta, pero si las hubiera, serían estas: haz una lista de todo lo que no te gusta de tí, y luego tírala, eres el que eres, y después de todo no es tan malo como te imaginas un domingo de cruda. Tira el equipaje de sobra, el viaje es largo, cargar no te deja mirar hacia adelante, y además jode la espalda. No sigas modas, en diez años te vas a morir de vergüenza de haberte puesto eso de todas maneras. Besa a tantos como puedas, deja que te rompan el corazón, enamórate, date en la madre, y vuelve a levantarte. Quizás hay un amor verdadero, quizás no, pero mientras lo encuentras, lo bailado ni quien te lo quita. Come frutas y verduras, neta, vete acostumbrando a que no vas a poder tragar garnachas toda la vida. Equivócate, cambia, intenta, falla, reinvéntate, manda todo al carajo y empieza de nuevo cada vez que sea necesario. De veras, no pasa nada, sobre todo si no haces nada. Prueba otros sabores de helado, otras cervezas, otras pastas de dientes. Arranca el coche un día, y no pares hasta que se acabe la gasolina. Empieza un grupo de rock ¿Porqué no?, toma clases de baile, aprende italiano, invéntate otro nombre, usa una bicicleta, perdona, olvida, deja ir, decide quien es imprescindible, mientras más grande eres, más difícil es hacer amigos de verdad, y más necesitas quien sepa quien eres sin que tengas que explicarte. Esos son los amigos, cuídalos, y mantenlos cerca. Aprende que no vas a aprender nada, pero no hay examen final en esta escuela, ni calificaciones, ni graduación, ni reunión de ex-alumnos gracias a Dios. Felices treinta viejo, bienvenido al resto de tu vida."